Dan Savage, let's end the charade and get married.

I know what you're thinking. "Val, Dan Savage doesn't even believe in monogamy. It goes against nature, and he encourages people to explore other options. Also, you like girls. Also, he likes boys." Well, fine. A girl can dream.

Once again, if you've had your head up someone's ass for the past several years in order to avoid the endless pile of shit that is American society, I'll explain the wonder that is Dan Savage to you. Dan Savage is a writer, an advocate, and the producer of the Savage Love podcast, to which you should all subscribe immediately. This is what he looks like.

You can't marry him. He doesn't really believe in it, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. Also I have dibs.

Let me tell you why Dan Savage is better than you and just about everyone else in the world.
1) His name is AWESOME.
2) He is brutally honest when people call into his show, and if they're being fucking morons about love and sex he'll tell them about it.
3) He is the spearhead of the "It Gets Better" campaign, and if you don't find that endearing you should stop reading my blog right now an re-evaluate your status as a human being.
4) He's smart.
5) He doesn't buy into social constructions of sexuality, relationships, matrimony, or anything else. He thinks you should do what feels right to you, and fuck what everyone else has to say about it.
6) He launched an attack on the superintendent, the principal, and the school board of that Constance girl who couldn't take her girlfriend to prom. And he was awesome about it.

Look. If I'm not a credible enough source for you to take my word for it, then a) fuck you, and b) listen to his podcasts. It's better than you can do and it's certainly better than I can do.

Glee, you might be too gay even for me.

Hey, betches!

Today, I'm ranting about a once-beloved favorite of mine. It's a little show that goes by the name of Glee . See below for an accurate and aptly annoying visual representation of the show, in case you've had your head up someone's ass for the past 2 years.

Right, it's that show. Oh, they're all SUCH outsiders because they fucking sing. Nevermind that the talent comprising this cast is worthy of an auditorium of grammys, we are to believe that these tools can't even win a regional singing competition. And that's the premise. The glee club can't get no respect. Also they're all fucking each other, and the teacher is supposed to be straight (casting fail). So, yeah.

You know me. You know I like it gay. What I don't like, however, is how this has become the Kurt Hummel show. I'm sure you know the backstory, but if you don't, Kurt just came out to his dad in the first season and has since struggled to fit in at school. Ohmygod what a novel idea! Except, no. But they dealt with it in the first season amongst a plethora of other ill-conceived and ill-executed storylines, and it was just as passable as the rest of the plot. But this season, they're pissing me off.  The folks at Glee have determined that the best way to avoid a sophomore slump is, apparently, to exploit the gay bullying phenomenon to the max. That means Kurt and his sashaying case of gay face are front and center for basically every episode. And Diva Michelle (oops, I mean Lea Michelle) can't be happy about that.

Look. Bottom line? This show would stay at the top if it were about child pornography. It is so clearly not about the plot, but the singing and the guest stars.  So why do we have to exploit this issue in order to get ratings? Jane Lynch could take a shit on her character's famous tracksuit and the show would still get more viewers than a Fox show has any right to have. So let's give the gay a rest, huh? maybe depend on some other type of outcast to get what you want.

Lates!
V

The Gay List: New York

Hi! I love/hate The A List! Here's why:

First off, if you don't know what The A List is, I don't blame you because even I don't watch Logo. It's a sad, inadequate channel that wishes it were as good (re: gay) as Bravo. But I digress.  Here's an AWESOME visual summary of The A List:

Exactly. It's exactly this.

I wouldn't love it if it weren't for this dreamy guy Reichen, who dated Lance Bass and the rest of the gay community and is hotter than everyone else on the show (and in the world) combined. Also, pretty sure he's packing a LOT.

So that's all I have to say in the positive category. Here's why it blows, pun-sort-of-intended:
1) It's the worst thing to happen to the gay community's image since AIDS. it perpetuates the worst stereotypes ever, and it makes gay men seem slutty and materialistic. Also plastic-y. (I'm looking at YOU, Ryan)
2) I've never seen a more annoying group of gay men. If these were women, the world would hate them. Not love to hate them, just plain hate them. Gay is not an excuse for annoying, people. It's only an excuse for fornication.
3) It makes me hate gay men. There's no real justification for this, and I'm not trying to be clever about it. I just fucking hate most of these queens, and it leaves a bad gay taste in my mouth (minds out of the gutter, friends. I don't know what THAT tastes like, and I wouldn't pretend to).

A lot of 'mos think that any representation is good representation, but I'm not one of those assholes. If you can't do it in a way that moves us forward, get the fuck out of my living room.

I'll leave you with this, because it beats the living shit out of anything Logo has ever done. Ever.