Dan Savage, let's end the charade and get married.

I know what you're thinking. "Val, Dan Savage doesn't even believe in monogamy. It goes against nature, and he encourages people to explore other options. Also, you like girls. Also, he likes boys." Well, fine. A girl can dream.

Once again, if you've had your head up someone's ass for the past several years in order to avoid the endless pile of shit that is American society, I'll explain the wonder that is Dan Savage to you. Dan Savage is a writer, an advocate, and the producer of the Savage Love podcast, to which you should all subscribe immediately. This is what he looks like.

You can't marry him. He doesn't really believe in it, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. Also I have dibs.

Let me tell you why Dan Savage is better than you and just about everyone else in the world.
1) His name is AWESOME.
2) He is brutally honest when people call into his show, and if they're being fucking morons about love and sex he'll tell them about it.
3) He is the spearhead of the "It Gets Better" campaign, and if you don't find that endearing you should stop reading my blog right now an re-evaluate your status as a human being.
4) He's smart.
5) He doesn't buy into social constructions of sexuality, relationships, matrimony, or anything else. He thinks you should do what feels right to you, and fuck what everyone else has to say about it.
6) He launched an attack on the superintendent, the principal, and the school board of that Constance girl who couldn't take her girlfriend to prom. And he was awesome about it.

Look. If I'm not a credible enough source for you to take my word for it, then a) fuck you, and b) listen to his podcasts. It's better than you can do and it's certainly better than I can do.